Connecting awareness

Some people would argue this about me, but I often struggle with what to say to people.   When working with the homeless, how do you start a conversation?   What do you say?   It’s tough to figure out common ground.   Politics are too polarized at the moment.   I’m not up on the latest in the entertainment world.   Most homeless people aren’t really into the latest automotive news.   What am I going to say to someone?

I know that I’ve mentioned this before, but I always try to make requests feel better than “just another line” for people to go through.   I don’t have much time, but I always want to do something to make sure that the people I talk to feel like people instead of a list of items on a sheet of paper.   Even though I’m not always sure that I get through in that form, I always want to make the effort.   Today, I was shown why that effort is worth it.

I took a request from a gentleman today for some boots.   He was a taller, slender man carrying a backpack, a few items he had picked up at other vehicles, and a travel mug of coffee.   His jacket was this bright, royal blue color.   A bit dirty, but a color that bright is tough to hide.   His stainless steel travel mug had two bright blue stripes on it, the same color as his jacket.   When I asked him if he planned it that way, he gave a loud laugh and said “this isn’t even my favorite mug.   I lost my favorite but ended up with this one.   I think I kinda like it now.”   

We made a few jokes and had some big laughs about being fashionable and “gotta look good all of the time” before we parted ways.   As he turned to leave, he had a huge smile on his face.   I saw him look at his mug, then his jacket a couple of times as he walked away with a touch of a skip in his step.   I’m pretty sure that he had a new favorite mug.   I get the feeling that his outlook on the day, and his mug had changed a bit.   

Lesson one: It only takes a small connection to start a big reaction.

Knowing who I am, I realize that in public situations, I become very aware of my surroundings and those that are in it.   That doesn’t mean that I catch every detail of every conversation, but it does lend me to hear and see things that others often do not.   Today, this awareness fed me two bits of information that still have me smiling.   

Through the two seasons that I’ve done missions with the Akron Snow Angels, I’ve seen a lot of faces.   Some have been different, and some have been the same.   There are those that we see time and time again that are stuck.   For whatever reason, unable to get traction to change their situation.   In some cases, they may not want to change their situation.   They’ve become comfortable with the uncomfortable.   I’m still very happy to help those people.   I don’t know why they may be stuck.   They may not even know it.   In the same sense, it may not even be their doing.   For me, I just enjoy knowing that I was able to help make their day a bit better.   

On the opposite side of that, there are people that may be spinning their wheels, but aren’t necessarily stuck.   Sometimes, there just needs to be a little bit of a push to help get un-stuck.   Today, I overheard two separate people today mention that they had either moved into or got news that they were getting housing.   In working with the homeless this is the best news to hear.   These are people that aren’t stuck.   It’s such a huge step in the right direction for people.   It’s not the end of the battle, but it’s the biggest step towards getting to what most of us consider a “normal” life.   I’m excited for these people.   I wouldn’t mind talking with them again.    I’m also glad that I won’t have to.   

Lesson two: Pay attention. Good stories are out there if you’re listening.

Hearing those two stories today puts a quote into my head….backwards.

One small step for mankind.   One giant leap for a man.   (or two)

Why smile?

I’ve been on two missions with the Akron Snow Angels since my last blog post.   Why haven’t I posted?    It’s not because I didn’t learn anything.   It’s been quite the opposite.   For me, I’ve wanted to look at things from a different perspective.   I wanted to see things with a different mindset.   I wanted to let other approaches take over for a bit and see where they lead me.   In all of this, I’ve learned a lot about myself, and people in general.   As for the mission, there were two things that seemed to stick out for me today as I talked to people.   Both points came to me from totally different levels….literally.

My first lesson was very much in my face.    Actually, I had to kneel down for it to be in my face.   In the picture, I’m talking with a gentleman named Michael.   According to those close to him, Michael was really excited to talk to me and tell me exactly what he really wanted.   Michael wanted shoes.   A size 3 kids shoe.   When I asked him what color he enthusiastically replied with, “It doesn’t matter, but I really like blue and red.”   

I’m not sure of his story.   I’m not sure of his parents story.   I do know that Michael is a neat kid.   He’s bursting at the seams with personality.   He’s got a winning smile and happy-go-lucky attitude in a less than ideal situation.   I can honestly say that Michael made my day today.

As a young child, Michael has a simpler view of the world than most of us.   In getting me back to the basics, this young man reminded me of something that I need to do more on a daily basis.

Lesson one:   Smile.   It’s contagious.

Of recent, I’ve found myself using one word in the english language more than any other, and it’s become extremely helpful to me.    The word “why” has been my guiding word of late.   As people, it’s our natural tendency to ask the “who, what, where, when”, and just file that information away.   As I’ve started to dig into the “why” of things, I’ve been able to diagnose problems rather than just look at the symptoms.   

It seems like so many people see a homeless person and assume that “poor life choices” are the reason as to why that person is living the way that they do.  If you only ask the who, what, where, and when, then I get why you’ll come to that conclusion.   When you start to ask why they made some of those choices, that’s when you really start to learn about these people.   That’s when it finally clicks as to how we can truly help people.   When you keep asking “Why?”, you’re able to break things down into solvable problems.   

Lesson two:   Continually ask “Why?” if you want to solve problems instead of symptoms.      

It’s been a little over a year that I’ve been going on missions with the Akron Snow Angels.   I feel like I’m just now reaching a new understanding of what is happening, and how we can move to make things better.   All of this because I am continually asking the question “Why?”   I suggest that you do the same.

Can I borrow your shoes?

I spent a lot of time learning this weekend.   Although it’s gone by in a breeze and has left me exhausted, there are lessons in it that I will be carrying for the rest of my life.  

I was excited for this weekend as Sunday was to be “Christmas in July” with the Akron Snow Angels.   The working and learning started long before Sunday for me though.  On Friday evening at 6:00, the founder of the Snow Angels and I met the Penske box truck that would be the my chariot for the next few days.   Tables were loaded in the back and we were on our way to pick up items from other people that had gone shopping for us.

After a few stops, we had to go to pick up some toiletries and other items that were needed for the event on Sunday.   In the few shopping trips that I have made, I have found that you always draw looks of intrigue when you go to Dollar General and buy $250+ worth of shampoo, soap, and deodorant.   With the cart straining to hold the weight of these items, I noticed a gentleman who was buying just 3 or 4 items that got in line to check out behind us.   Rather than making him wait the ages that it was going to take us to check out, I did the polite thing and let him go first.   It came up in casual conversation as to why we were buying all of these items and the guy was seemed to be absolutely floored.   “You guys are doing an amazing thing” he repeated a number of times to us.   Having been in this situation before, I can tell you that it is always great to hear stuff like that from people.   The rewards of helping the homeless are huge and I have met some amazing people, but when going through the tedium of shopping for 100+ bars of soap, the extra support and encouragement is always greatly appreciated.      

The man walked out of the store and we started to get things ready for the checkout clerk. Know what was in store, we waited for one or two others that we allowed to go in front of us to pay.   I was digging through the cart and organizing when I heard a voice. “What you guys are doing is awesome.   Here.  Take this”.   I looked up to find the man from earlier standing next to me.   His outstretched arm holding $40 in cash.   It caught me so much by surprise that it took me a few seconds thank him.   I was totally stunned.   I was in awe.   I felt invigorated.   In one gesture that lasted all of 20 seconds, this man helped us, he helped a community, and reaffirmed to the entire store that humanity is alive and well.   Simple, yet amazing.

As my brain was working overtime to process the events that just transpired, a lady was asking a few more questions about Akron Snow Angels.   Within seconds of her knowing what we were doing and why, she emptied the cash out of her purse and only wanted hugs from each of us in exchange.   Again, complete shock for all of the right reasons.   Two people just made this great big world feel very warm and cozy.    

Saturday morning was sorting, loading, and just generally getting things ready for the big event on Sunday.   I’m not sure how many trips I made from the front to the back to the front and to the back of the box van, but I’m pretty sure I got my recommended mileage in for the day.   It would have taken hours if not days longer if not for the help of the other volunteers.   

I feel that the people that helped on Saturday are absolutely amazing in their own unique way.   These are the people that do a ton of the heavy hauling, the tedious sorting, and the running around and most of them never get to see the smiles or hear the stories that come from it.   These people are just happy to be a help.   Truly selfless acts.   

As the day of the actual event arrived I was excited, nervous, and doing my best to prepare myself for the day.   The emotional swings involved with something like this are huge.   I saw some people that I haven’t seen since our last mission this past winter/spring season.   I know I’ve said it before and I will say it again.   You’re really happy to see the people knowing that they are ok and safe.   I’ve developed a friendship with many of them and I enjoy talking with them.   I enjoy listening to them.   In the same sense, it is upsetting seeing that person that you care for as they are still in need of the help.   It’s weird to make a friend with the hope that you never talk to them again because they have moved on to a different situation.      

I was on “security” duty for the day which really means that I’m there to help show people around and chat people up while in line.   It gave me the opportunity to interact with most everyone that came to the event today which was an amazing experience.   I find that as I listen to people I get the chance to know them.   I find out what makes them tick and how they handle things.   In so many ways, these people have totally changed my perception of what life is and what we are supposed to do with it.   

We all seem to gravitate towards the people that are similar to us or to the people that we want to be like.  There is an equal if not greater amount of things that can be learned from people outside of those circles also.   The things that I learn from the people that I talk to aren’t always lessons that I can put into words easily.   In many cases, I see a changed attitude and enough of a contrasting perspective on things to make me see the world in a completely different light.   I once read, “To walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, you must first take off your own”.   I have always felt that I have done a good job of this.   As it turns out, I’m just now learning about how much I have yet to learn.    

A greater understanding

With today being the last mission for the Akron Snow Angels for the winter, I feel the need to summarize not only today, but also what my overall involvement has taught me.   With that, I’ve split the blog up a bit to cover these separate points.    

Working with the homeless has totally changed my opinion of people in general.   What I realize more and more is how differently people handle things.   That totally hit me today as I handed a requested item to a gentleman.   

On our previous mission, a shorter, slight of build man that I had seen a number of times before came up and put in a request for a pair of pants.   We didn’t have any in his size, so we said that we would do our best to try to get him some.   We mentioned that we’d be back on the 9th, and he mentioned that the 8th was his birthday.   I put it in my notes that would be posted on the shopping list, but then went about my business for the rest of the day.     

I arrived today to find that along with the requested pants for this gentleman, the person that did the shopping also was thoughtful enough to get a card and some candy to add in for his birthday!   Since I recognized the guy from talking to him briefly before, I was on the lookout for him.  After all, I was excited to get him the items and wish him a happy belated birthday.      

I saw him milling around the group and hopped out of the truck and ran over to go hand him his birthday items.   I’m normally not much one for birthdays, but I felt that it was a big way to connect, get a smile, and hopefully help someone have a great day.   I handed him the bag and goodies with a big “Happy Birthday David!”.   He said “Thank you”, and went back to looking at the ground 8 feet in front of him and walking around.   It was as close to a “non-reaction” as you can get.   It perplexed me.  His birthday was a much bigger deal for me than it was for him.  

I went along for a while longer doing other things and working with other people, but I kept thinking about it.   Why didn’t he have the normal “surprise birthday stuff” reaction?   What was going on?   He got chocolate!   How can you not want chocolate on your birthday?   Then I realized it…that could be why he is homeless.   He doesn’t fit in with what society considers normal.   He just may not know how to react to things like that.   He may not have that emotion.   Because he doesn’t react the same way that we do, does that means he deserves to be homeless?   Those are some unanswered questions.   They are also questions that I’m not sure that I’d be asking myself a few months ago, but I’m glad that I have the ability to now.   

Working with this group has taught me that everyone does or handles things differently.   What should be the most important thing to me, is how I handle those situations.   I am taking much more time before I form an opinion on things.   I’m doing more research.  I’m considering more options.   In this, I’m growing.   This...is….huge.

 

As I look back to some of the volunteers that I’ve worked along side with in the group, there’s a common thread.   There’s something that stands out.   This group was started by one woman that spent some time at a soup kitchen and thought, “we need to help the homeless more.”   Ever feel like one person can’t make a difference?   She 100% proves you wrong.   I am astonished and amazed with what she has accomplished in what really is a very short amount of time.   There is a drive and a skillset there that I envy.   This reaffirms to me that effort yields results and that compassion is still alive and well.   

It’s often said that no one has more influence than the people you have around you.   The fact that I can call the founder of the Akron Snow Angels, and the co-founders of Elves & More of Northeast Ohio, my friends seems a bit surreal to me.   These people are amazing.   They all have demanding jobs, are involved with their families, lead active social lives...and “Oh by the way”, have helped thousands of people.   They only get paid in smiles and stories, yet still have the drive to overcome obstacles and help those that need it.   These people make me feel like a little kid that just met his idol.   I suggest that you find a friend who is a hero and/or an icon.   I’m lucky enough to have 3 friends that fit both of those words.     

Working with the Akron Snow Angels has changed my mindset on so many things.   It’s been a change that has caused me to look at the core of how I do things, how I think about things, and how I react to things.   When I started thinking about the changes and why I’ve seen them, it all comes down to people.   Both the homeless that we work to help and the volunteers that help make it happen have been the two groups responsible for these changes.   On both sides of the equation, it’s the people that have made the difference for me.   

1. One thought can change the world, even if it’s just the world for one person.
2. Opinions do not matter.  Actions and reactions do.   Make them positive.   Make them count.   
3. Connect with people.   Learn people.   We all have more to learn than we think.

Questions and answers

Whenever I go out with the Akron Snow Angels, there are a ton of positive things that come out of every mission.  You can’t help but feel good when you hand someone a few needed items.   You get varied reactions, but a high level of gratitude.   I’ve discovered that the gratitude isn’t necessarily because you gave them something tangible.   In many cases, it’s because you’ve given them one less thing to worry about.   In other cases, you’ve given someone the slightest bit of comfort in a very uncomfortable world.   It’s a powerful and wonderful feeling.   I suggest that you try it.   

A cart full of caring

Unfortunately, Saturday’s lesson came via a few pieces of news from within the community that were a bit disturbing.   As I write this, I’m not sure what percentage of angry, upset, and sad I’m feeling, but all of those emotions are currently stirring around at a rapid pace   

As we left for the day's mission, it was mentioned that there had been a fire and a few tents were lost to it.   This is tough to hear, but at that point, there is a certain amount of anonymity that allows a person to feel distant enough to stomach the news fairly easily.   As the day went on, there became two more bits of information that were discovered later that are much more difficult to digest.   

The first piece of news that we heard was that there is speculation that the tents being burned was an act of arson.   Other than someone intentionally setting the fire, there wasn’t another known source of ignition nearby.   Hearing that it was intentionally set, this is where my brain starts acting like a curious 4 year old’s and asking the “why” question over and over again.   Why would someone do this?   Why?   Just why?   Why could this have possibly seemed like a good idea to someone?   Personally, it’s the questions that I can’t find the answer to that I find are the most difficult to deal with.   “Why” happens to be one of them in this case.

News always carries more weight when it hits close.   Later in the day, we found out that the two people that lost their tents in the fire are well liked in the Akron Snow Angels group.   Friendly, chatty, and even a bit witty.   Each has a distinct personality of their own.   They are tough, but approachable.   Unique, but unassuming.   If you start a conversation with them, you’re going to end up with a good laugh.  If you get something for them, they both show their extreme gratitude in their own, unique way.   One with a handshake that could crush a rock and the most sincere thank you that you’ll find anywhere.   The other says “thanks” with a shy smile and a slight turn of his head.   You can tell he’s truly grateful, but he isn’t always quite sure how to handle it.   How is it that these two guys lost everything?   

It’s always tough to figure out what really happened.   I’m not a professional detective and much of what I have heard about the events leading up to this is speculation.   “Why” isn’t the right question for me to be asking.   It is tough to steer away from that as wanting to answer the big “why” question is a huge part of what makes us human.   It’s how we figure things out.   It is what we use to discover things.   It was later on when I realized that the more productive question that I need to be asking starts with “how”.    How can I help?

You can only get the best answer if you’re asking the right questions.  

Simple things

A blur.   That’s the only way that I can describe the mission today for Akron Snow Angels.   I was part of the request vehicle again.   That meant that the day started out with seeing how much compassion could be crammed into a 2 door Blazer.   Apparently, it can hold a lot more than most would think partially, because it comes in different forms for different people.   One pair of size 11 work boots can hold a right foot, a left foot, and the brightest hope for the job that can lead to a better situation.   A large pair of long johns and a knit shirt can hold 10 degrees of happiness on a chilly day.   A Batman toothbrush and toothpaste can make a child have a size 82 smile.   The Blazer could carry the tangible items.   A fleet of ships couldn’t come close to carrying the feelings.  

The first stop was just down the road to a smaller group .   Even with it only being my second visit to that site, I feel a personal connection with some of the folks there.   The feel is very much “some friends are stopping by to chat for a bit.”   We just happen to be the friends that drop off some much needed supplies at the time also.   It really is a comical bunch of folks that we get to hang out with.   Eager to talk.   Eager to share stories.   In need of the laughs.   

As we arrived at our second stop, I spotted Johnathon right away.   I was excited.   I had two pairs of pants for him, a nice insulated shirt, and a pair of boots that will keep his feet warm and dry.   I caught up to him and we chatted for a few.   He is adapting.   He doing what he can to get through this.   It’s not an easy road, but he seems to be staying between the lines.   It was good to see.

I saw Lee today but unfortunately didn’t get the chance to say hello and shake his hand again.   I am kicking myself a bit for not doing so and I’m making it a point to do so next time.   Seeing him again brought about a bit of a contradiction of feelings.  I want to see familiar faces so I know that they are ok and so I can share the laughter with them.   I hope that I never see them again as I hope they have the shelter, heat, food, and clothing that they need.   Emotionally, it’s a wild ride.         

What did I learn today?   I learned two things:

1. Big problems are solved with simple steps in the right direction.   

I saw a child smile because toothbrushing now involves his imagination and a superhero.   I saw someone gain a world of hope.   I saw someone less worried about freezing.  I saw a lot of people laughing and sharing in conversation.   These simple things can be the things that help solve much larger problems.   

2. I guess I should have paid more attention in math.

It’s in my nature to want to put a measurement to things.   Maybe my high school math teacher would be disappointed, but I need help with this problem.

Solve for x

x = hope + 10 degrees + size 82 smile

My math says x = u