One Tragedy Away...

July 16th, 2017 was the 3rd annual “Christmas in July” for the Akron Snow Angels at Grace Park.   With this being a different event than the normal missions for the Snow Angels, I was afforded the luxury of being able to wander a bit.   I took some time to sit back and observe things as they were happening.   I watched to see how people were interacting.   I watched to see how things moved, evolved, and grew.   One of my favorite moments was right near the beginning of the day when I noticed a gentleman waiting in line singing and dancing without a care in the world.   Seeing that big of a smile on the face of someone that may not have too many reasons to smile, makes you realize why days like this need to happen.

Towards the end of the day, I noticed that there was a man sitting in the middle of the festivities, alone.   I hadn’t seen him talk to anyone.  He wasn’t focused on the people or the happenings in the park that day.   He was in his own little “bubble” of sorts.   He looked relaxed, but that went away very quickly as I approached him.  

“Hi, I’m Josh.   I look to learn about and from people.   Mind if I have a seat?”   He gave me the same look that most people give to a door to door salesman.  

“Where are you from?” I asked.

“Cuyahoga County”, he replied with little to no emotion.

At this point, I knew there was something to this gentleman.   In the way that he said it, I could tell that he was not hiding anything.   He was not trying to deny life choices he has made.   He was not trying to hide a checkered past.   I didn’t see fear in his eyes, but I did see a skeptic.   He wanted to keep his information to himself to protect himself.   As someone that often fights a bit of a paranoid streak myself, I can understand why he would react this way to a complete stranger asking him personal questions.      

We started to talk more about random things.   We discussed some of the awkward subjects.  Politics, religion, life in general.   We figured out that we were even born at the same hospital!   In this, we found not necessarily completely common ground, but he became more comfortable with me.   I think it’s at this point that he could tell that I was being totally honest.   I had no agenda other than to learn about him, and hopefully from him.  There was never moment where things clicked.   There was however, a progression to a small level of comfort which I promptly stepped past.   

“Where do you stay now?” I asked.   Seeing his reluctance to answer such a direct question I pointed and said “North? South? East? West?”

“I’m west of here.”   With some prodding, he elaborated on how he likes where he is at.   It’s private.   It’s nice.   He can think there.   “It’s just me and one other guy in this spot.   I’m able to be alone there and not have to worry about others.” he said.    

I pushed a little farther and asked how he ended up in Akron since he’s originally from Cuyahoga County.   He gave me the overall story of how he ended up here but in telling this, he went from a stoic man, to a man with a broken heart in the matter of seconds.   His body language changed.   He looked down instead of at me.   His shoulders slumped.   His demeanor changed.  There was no water works.  There was no drama.   There was just a very sad story to tell.      

Here is where we sat on the ground and talked.   I'll remember this spot

The details didn’t matter to me once I heard the basic storyline.   He moved here to live with his girlfriend.   They had a good life.  She was accomplished in her profession and had a job that many dream of.   He was hunting for work at the time when she unexpectedly passed away.  It was in that very moment, he lost everything.

Imagine losing your significant other, and your financial security all in an instant.   Everything happening in a wicked swing from happiness to misery.   It makes me ask of myself and those around me “how would you handle it?”

“I like my time alone.   It helps me to get away from the past and try to move forward” he said on more than one occasion.    It wasn’t until then end of our chat when I finally asked his name.   Being as guarded as he was, I’m keeping it to myself.   He enjoys his privacy and I’d like to let him continue to do that.   I left feeling that I uncovered a hidden gem of a person.   He just needs some time to dust himself off and get his shine back...   

What did I learn from my interaction with this gentleman?

1. You are stronger than you think.   Everything else can change in an instant.   There’s not always time to plan.   Sometimes, you have to react and trust in your own strength that you can power through the storm.   He adapted and found out that he is stronger than he thought.   He may have emotional injuries to deal with, but he has survived.   He is healing.   He will be better than before.   As a human, know that you have that ability within you also.          
2. This gentleman totally reinforced my idea of who a homeless person is.   Picture a homeless person in your head.   Imagine how they act.   Imagine how they speak.   Imagine their motions.   Imagine the language they used.   I am very secure in saying that the imaginary character in your head is very wrong.   He is no different than anyone reading this.   He has just experienced a different chain of events that I would not wish upon anyone.   We are merely one tragedy from being in his situation.   There is no stereotype for the homeless and homeless is not a stereotype.   It’s a condition.   A fixable one.  

When it was time to go, I shook his hand and thanked him.   I knew that we touched on some subjects that weren’t always easy for him to talk about.   I learned something huge and I also had a lesson reinforced.   No one will ever be able to repay the cost that he has paid.   It is my hope that learning from his words that we can start to help him and others like him lead a more comfortable, human life.      

Positively Chilling

It’s 9:00 on a Sunday morning as I pull my dad’s truck out of the garage and start down the road for another mission with the Akron Snow Angels.   Less than a mile down the road I look over at the readout in the truck that tells me it’s 8 degrees outside.   I’m in the truck, all bundled up in 4 layers of clothes including Carhartt overalls, and I’m cold.   It’s at this point when it dawns on me, “I don’t see how some of my friends live in this.”

I was the first to arrive at the facility where we meet and store all of the items that we have.   It’s not heated, but it does keep everything that we have dry.    As soon as I pushed the door open I felt a rush of disappointing, but not unexpected cold air.   Once again, the question of “how can they live in this?” circled around in my head.   

We had a few more volunteers than normal today which was nice.   We got everything loaded up and headed for Grace Park as per our usual routine.   With it being so cold out, the crowd that greeted us had fewer people.   To me, that’s a good thing.   It means that some of the shelters have opened their doors to a few more people in order to make sure that they can stay warm.   

We parked and I got to do my favorite job again.   I took requests today.   I still love doing this.   I love how it gives me a chance to hear from, learn about, and interact with so many people.   Some of them are more memorable than others, but today had one interaction that gave me a bit of a spark, and it’s what led me to figure out what the lesson was for today.

On the early December mission, I met a man and his wife.   He is a taller man with a booming voice, a firm handshake and a friendly demeanor.   She is quieter and prefers to be in the background, but is very pleasant.    They live in a tent, so their situation is obviously not ideal, but my perception of their situation tells me that it’s an amazing relationship.   

He is a man of pride.   He sees their situation, and wants to work to get both of them out of it.   He is working to move things forward.   He wants to provide for them.  He wants to protect her.   On the flip side of the equation, through thick and painfully very thin times, she supports him.   She has confidence in him.   They are in a tough spot and yet they are in it 100% together.   They help each other.   It’s very easy to bail when times get tough and say “I’ll do this on my own.”   With these two, they want to do it together.   They do what so many people don’t in making sure that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.    What’s amazing is that they are doing this in conditions that most people would give up in.   It’s a powerful thing to see.   

This mission, he came up to me and asked if he could get a set of Carhartt coveralls.   It was with great pride that he told me “I got a job!”   He told me where and what he’d be doing.   “I’ll be outside 9 hours a day and it’s not going to start getting warmer for a while yet.   I hope that on the first of the month, we can finally get a place.”   Hearing those words made my week.   

It was after this conversation with him that I noticed something about everyone that I had talked to that day.   When my house drops below 68 degrees, I think it’s cold, and although I don’t complain to the dog and cats, I probably would if they would listen.   These people are living in conditions where the temperature is 8….and they aren’t complaining.   People made a few small jokes about the cold, but no actual complaints.   No griping.   No “I hate this”.   

I’ve always somewhat avoided the “how’s it going?” question when on missions as I’ve always been afraid of making someone feel bad.   After some thoughts though, I wanted to see if my lesson was turning out to be what I thought it was.   I asked my friend Jared how he was doing.   “Good!” was his only reply.   I asked Jesse how he has been as I haven’t seen him for a while.  “Not too bad”.    I asked some of the people that came up to me for requests.  “Doing ok.”   “Great!”   “I’m alive and well.”   Not one had a negative answer.   

As I started to process all of these answers and why they have them, I realized that negativity is a sign of giving up.   If you give up in this situation, in these conditions, you’re dead.   In these sometimes dire situations, hope and a positive attitude may be the only things that you have.   

Today’s lesson: Even in a difficult situation, your outlook can mean the difference between survival or failure.   

Constantly improving

Who else would I walk with but Rudy?    The walk with him was a bit different this time though.  Another volunteer and I were asked to walk Rudy with another dog named Zoey.    I guess that Zoey is a bit woeful of the world and Rudy has been pretty darn good support.   Fill up my pockets with treats, and head to the room where they are both staying.   

As we start to head out, you can tell that Zoey isn’t exactly crazy about the idea.   Rudy on the other hand, he’s ready to go!   As we start to motivate towards the park, things smooth out a little bit.   It really was an uneventful walk.   We met a few other dogs, hung out for a few, but would continue walking around the park.   We would walk some more and occasionally stop for a treat, a potty break, or for some scratches and a hug, but overall, it was just a walk.   Time seemed to roll past rather quickly.   Before I knew it, it was time to head back and bid farewell to my friend.   

It hit me this morning what Rudolph was teaching me last night, and I’m not quite sure how he was able to teach me two lessons about the same subject, and show me both the good and bad sides of it.   

Rudy was there for Zoey.   He had gone from a dog that needed care, to one that could do the caring.   He has constantly improved and has gone from the one that needed help, to the one doing the helping.   To meet him 2 months ago and see where he is now and what he does now, he’s come a tremendous distance.   It was all done by making constant, small improvements.   It’s amazing what effort and time can create.

The constant improvement that Rudy has done, well...I guess I had stopped improving with him on our walks.   We have a bit of a routine which is nice, but in the same sense, this isn’t where it should be stopping.   He wants to improve.  He wants to learn.   He’s nowhere close to reaching his potential.   In life, so many of us reach a comfortable spot and stop pushing forward.   Rudy is depending on me to help him do this until he finds his forever home...and I feel like I’ve let him down.  I’m honestly finding that very difficult to deal with.   That “comfortable routine” that has been found in the walks is holding him back.   Maybe we all need to get out of our comfortable routine and learn something new.   

This is a very special dog, and he deserves better.   Once again, I’m really hoping that my friend has found a forever home before my return visit next Monday.   If not, I know that I need to help him help me improve.   

Simple things

A blur.   That’s the only way that I can describe the mission today for Akron Snow Angels.   I was part of the request vehicle again.   That meant that the day started out with seeing how much compassion could be crammed into a 2 door Blazer.   Apparently, it can hold a lot more than most would think partially, because it comes in different forms for different people.   One pair of size 11 work boots can hold a right foot, a left foot, and the brightest hope for the job that can lead to a better situation.   A large pair of long johns and a knit shirt can hold 10 degrees of happiness on a chilly day.   A Batman toothbrush and toothpaste can make a child have a size 82 smile.   The Blazer could carry the tangible items.   A fleet of ships couldn’t come close to carrying the feelings.  

The first stop was just down the road to a smaller group .   Even with it only being my second visit to that site, I feel a personal connection with some of the folks there.   The feel is very much “some friends are stopping by to chat for a bit.”   We just happen to be the friends that drop off some much needed supplies at the time also.   It really is a comical bunch of folks that we get to hang out with.   Eager to talk.   Eager to share stories.   In need of the laughs.   

As we arrived at our second stop, I spotted Johnathon right away.   I was excited.   I had two pairs of pants for him, a nice insulated shirt, and a pair of boots that will keep his feet warm and dry.   I caught up to him and we chatted for a few.   He is adapting.   He doing what he can to get through this.   It’s not an easy road, but he seems to be staying between the lines.   It was good to see.

I saw Lee today but unfortunately didn’t get the chance to say hello and shake his hand again.   I am kicking myself a bit for not doing so and I’m making it a point to do so next time.   Seeing him again brought about a bit of a contradiction of feelings.  I want to see familiar faces so I know that they are ok and so I can share the laughter with them.   I hope that I never see them again as I hope they have the shelter, heat, food, and clothing that they need.   Emotionally, it’s a wild ride.         

What did I learn today?   I learned two things:

1. Big problems are solved with simple steps in the right direction.   

I saw a child smile because toothbrushing now involves his imagination and a superhero.   I saw someone gain a world of hope.   I saw someone less worried about freezing.  I saw a lot of people laughing and sharing in conversation.   These simple things can be the things that help solve much larger problems.   

2. I guess I should have paid more attention in math.

It’s in my nature to want to put a measurement to things.   Maybe my high school math teacher would be disappointed, but I need help with this problem.

Solve for x

x = hope + 10 degrees + size 82 smile

My math says x = u

Tough Decisions

A tongue for treats.....and kisses!

Familiar things can be good and bad. I was more than happy to walk with Rudolph this evening. I am sad that he isn’t in a forever home…yet. I will state that as difficult as it is, I’m ok with it. The person that Rudy met last week as a possible adopter decided that maybe Rudolph wasn’t the best fit for their home. I’m glad that they reached that decision earlier rather than later and I hold no hard feelings on that. It’s a very difficult call to make, but they felt that they had reason to do so. It takes a strong will act on that. Although it wasn’t Rudolph, I’m pretty confident that the person will be adopting a rescue dog in the near future, and that in itself is a wonderful thing. I sincerely hope that Rudolph gets adopted soon, and I do think that it will happen. Patience is a virtue that Rudy has much more of than I. Maybe even some day he and Irving could hang out together. Who knows...

As Rudolph and I walked with one of the other volunteers and Queenie, I was told that “as soon as Rudolph heard your voice, he started jumping and got all sorts of excited.” It feels good to know that what I’m doing can get someone that excited. In some ways, I think that I’m one of the highlights of the week for him. In some ways, working with him is the highlight of mine also. What I give in treats, I receive back 10-fold in understanding, loyalty, life lessons, and kisses.

What did I learn from today? Rudolph has shown me that he is constantly learning. Constantly evolving. I need to follow his lead in that. As he and I have walked together, I see him get more and more excited for our walks as he starts to grasp how much there is to learn. As he gets better about sit, stay, up, and wait, I can see that he’s thinking, “Ok, got it. What’s the next trick that’s going to make you happy (and earn me a treat maybe)?” He’s soaking up knowledge like a sponge. He wants to explore. He wants to play. He wants to thrive. He really wants to be a companion. He wants to learn from someone. I find that awesome and admirable. This is one really smart dog and I’m amazed at how much he has taught me. Wow……...

Leading, when you need to

Yup.    Monday.   That means another walk at One of A Kind.   When I walk in, it’s not even a question as to who I’ll be walking with. I’m greeted with “Rudolph is waiting for ya”.   I peek in the window and I see a dog that is ready and waiting to go.   Like a battery that’s been charging all week and is ready burn up all of that energy at once.   I say hi with a treat, hook the leash on, and we head out to the park.

Once we get to the park, it’s go time!   We ran almost a full lap.   We generally followed the path, but there were some “off path excursions”.    (Hey, you have to stop and smell the roses…...or in this case, where other dogs have pee’d).   We had a blast, but sometimes running with Rudolph is a bit tough.   He runs in front of, beside, behind, then in front, then stops to sniff, then off to the side, then takes off like a shot, then to the……..you get the idea.   I realized two separate things at this point.   The first part is that without leadership, things aren’t efficient.   They don’t stay on task.   I was letting Rudy lead and the priority for him was really just to follow the next smell.   He sorta-kinda followed the path, but we were all over it.   We weren’t really getting anywhere.   For us to actually walk around the park the best he needed a leader to guide him.   Being on the other end of the leash, that was up to me.    

Taking my leadership responsibilities a bit more seriously, I started to offer my guidance to keep him on track.   As I started to rein him in and point in directions, he did great.  He walked next to me.   He checked other things out, but did his best to stay on task.   While doing this, I could tell he just was ready to explode though.   That’s when the second part hit me.   “Why are we restraining what we’re doing?”   This guy doesn’t get walks in the park but once a week.    Should the whole hour be filled with rules and work?   Heck no!!!!!!   I looked down at the same time he looked up at me.   “Let’s go Rudy!”   We took off running like the wind and having a blast.   Sniffing, stopping, starting, and going in circles as he pleased.  It was his time for fun!   My second lesson…fun doesn’t always need to be organized.   Sometimes, it just needs to happen.

As we started going a bit bananas and having some fun, my phone rings.   It’s a call from One of A Kind.   “Hi Josh.   I was wondering if you could bring Rudolph back as there’s someone here that would like to meet him and maybe adopt him.”   I’ll be very honest, I’m not sure how I responded, but inside I said “@#$% yes we can!”   I scratched his chin, and said, “Let’s go buddy!   This could be your big chance!”   Straight across the middle of the park we went.   We didn’t need a path!    We needed a straight line to get us back as fast as 6 legs can carry us.   

We get back to the clinic and I’m doing my best to act like I didn’t just do a ½ mile sprint with the dog, and failing miserably.   I’m breathing like someone that ran a marathon while sucking air through a straw.   I do my best to compose myself and  we head into the room for a meet and greet.

  

Frankly, I think it’s better if I don’t say much about the meeting.  I will say that I’m very hopeful.   I very much hope that I will miss Rudy.   If I do, it’s because he has the forever home that he deserves.   For such a wonderful creature, this possibility makes me feel happier and more fulfilled than I have in a very long time.   We will see what happens, but if it means that Rudolph has his forever home, I’m more than willing to let someone else teach this old dog some new tricks.    

Making Snow Angels

Today, I volunteered with the Akron Snow Angels.   Their site, www.akronsnowangels.com, puts down the best summary possible.   “We help the less fortunate by providing them with warm clothing, toiletries & most importantly great conversation, friendship, compassion & respect.”    When it comes to what the group does…that nails it.

The morning started off with a great energy which carried through the whole experience.   After some organizational items, we loaded up and headed out.  I was to help two ladies pass out toiletries and underwear.   I’m not really sure what I expected, but whatever it was, that’s not really what happened.   I saw people.   I interacted with people.   We shared stories.   We shared laughs.   We shared respect.   There are some great people!    Any apprehension that I had entering into all of this very quickly melted away.   What an amazing thing to be a part of!

Before leaving the second site that we visited, a few of us had a chat with a man named Mickey.   He’s lived on the streets of Akron for 10 years now.   Born and raised in Akron, he’s been here his whole life.   I have no idea on what chain of events has led him to be where he is, but he blamed no one.   He called himself a survivor, which to me, seems to be an understatement during a very chilly winter.   Most of all, he had hope.   “Someday it’ll get better” was what he kept saying.   Wow…  

Living in the moment is a pretty good description of how it all went for me.   Things were happening so quickly that I was just focused on doing what I could to get items to the people that needed them.   As I started to compile information and put things together in my head later in the day, that’s when it all started to get a bit too much for my neurons to handle.   So having walked the dog, and some time in my favorite chair pondering, I’m finding that my brain is still having a difficult time getting through the big “What did I just witness?” question.   I’m still not sure, but I know that it was good.   

So what did I learn by helping?   Being my first time out with Akron Snow Angels, there were many more lessons than I’ll be able to grasp in one sitting.   The lesson that stood out to me from the day as a whole is that I learned that everyone deserves respect.   We all have different circumstances.   We all have different tools and excel in certain areas.   Thankfully, what Mickey and many others in his situation excel at is holding onto hope.   I’m not sure that I could do what these people do day in and day out.   It takes a very different skill set than what I have.   They all have my respect for that.      

Today gave me an amazing feeling.   I’d love for you to experience it also.   Please find something to get active in.   Make a difference.  Make a lasting legacy of compassion.