Reflecting on the warmth

Today was the last mission of the season for the Akron Snow Angels.   As everyone enjoyed the 70+ degree temperatures today, most people could be seen out enjoying the weather.   Most people have the “spring has sprung” feeling as many of us seemed to forget that there were below freezing temperatures and 5-6” of snow on the ground just 2 days ago in many areas.   The homeless have not.   

As most of us go to bed thinking of summer cookouts and outdoor activities in the summer sun, the homeless stay wondering how cold it will still get.   I did see a lot of relief for many of them as they are realizing that the worst part of the season should be behind them.    In the same sense, you can also see in their faces that they realize that the battle isn’t over yet.   There’s still cold to fight.   There’s still a struggle to stay warm.   

As I drove home, the conversations that I heard made me ask some questions of myself.   What am I worried about?   What concerns me?   Why?   I kept asking the “why is that” question until it became a “is it a basic need” question.   In most of the cases, the answer was no.

Lesson one:   Concerns are often based on the overall situation.   They shouldn’t be.   Do not take the basics for granted.

A gentleman came up to the request truck today and said “you probably don’t still have my stuff  because it was January when I requested it, but I figured I’d ask anyways.”   Without a hesitation, Megan and Lisa dug into the mountain of requested items to see what the possibilities were.   At the bottom of a box, were the boots that the man requested a few months prior.   

Elated is too mild of a word for how this man felt.   I’ve seen people win on television game shows that weren’t this happy.   Seeing the worn out shoes on his feet, I can understand why.   Those of us that witnessed this couldn’t help but share in this feeling.   Everyone that was there shared in the joy.   His happiness spread like an unstoppable force.   

It felt like every ounce of work for the year was worth it, even if it was just getting this one man his boots.   As he walked away with the extra skip in his step, I started to run through my own thoughts.   I loved this feeling.  I wanted more of it.   “Where can I get this?   What do I need to do for this?    How did this happen?”   I started to boil it down to the root cause and how it lead to the end result.   As I added things up, I realize it was a very simple formula.   

Lesson two: You only need to exceed the expectation of one person to make a world of difference to many.   

     

When I start to reflect on the missions from this year, it leaves me with a vast quantity of emotions.   I feel accomplished, but that there is still so much more that needs done.   I feel educated, but that education has shown me a sample of how little I actually know.   I feel tired, but energized to do it again next season.   Most of all, I feel better.   I feel that I’m better than I was in November when the first mission of the year happened.  

I love sharing these lessons and hold the hope that they can help you.   In the same sense, learning is a process that is better through experience than teachings.   Get involved.   Get your children involved.   Make your community better.   Find ways to help.   If you need assistance in finding out what some of the needs are out there in the community, please contact me.   Through my experiences, I have come in contact with many groups and many organizations that can use your help.   I am more than happy to assist in finding someplace that can utilize your talents.   There is always some way that you can make a difference.   Some way that you can make this world better for someone...including yourself.   There are no reasons as to why you cannot help.   There are only excuses not to.   

Connecting awareness

Some people would argue this about me, but I often struggle with what to say to people.   When working with the homeless, how do you start a conversation?   What do you say?   It’s tough to figure out common ground.   Politics are too polarized at the moment.   I’m not up on the latest in the entertainment world.   Most homeless people aren’t really into the latest automotive news.   What am I going to say to someone?

I know that I’ve mentioned this before, but I always try to make requests feel better than “just another line” for people to go through.   I don’t have much time, but I always want to do something to make sure that the people I talk to feel like people instead of a list of items on a sheet of paper.   Even though I’m not always sure that I get through in that form, I always want to make the effort.   Today, I was shown why that effort is worth it.

I took a request from a gentleman today for some boots.   He was a taller, slender man carrying a backpack, a few items he had picked up at other vehicles, and a travel mug of coffee.   His jacket was this bright, royal blue color.   A bit dirty, but a color that bright is tough to hide.   His stainless steel travel mug had two bright blue stripes on it, the same color as his jacket.   When I asked him if he planned it that way, he gave a loud laugh and said “this isn’t even my favorite mug.   I lost my favorite but ended up with this one.   I think I kinda like it now.”   

We made a few jokes and had some big laughs about being fashionable and “gotta look good all of the time” before we parted ways.   As he turned to leave, he had a huge smile on his face.   I saw him look at his mug, then his jacket a couple of times as he walked away with a touch of a skip in his step.   I’m pretty sure that he had a new favorite mug.   I get the feeling that his outlook on the day, and his mug had changed a bit.   

Lesson one: It only takes a small connection to start a big reaction.

Knowing who I am, I realize that in public situations, I become very aware of my surroundings and those that are in it.   That doesn’t mean that I catch every detail of every conversation, but it does lend me to hear and see things that others often do not.   Today, this awareness fed me two bits of information that still have me smiling.   

Through the two seasons that I’ve done missions with the Akron Snow Angels, I’ve seen a lot of faces.   Some have been different, and some have been the same.   There are those that we see time and time again that are stuck.   For whatever reason, unable to get traction to change their situation.   In some cases, they may not want to change their situation.   They’ve become comfortable with the uncomfortable.   I’m still very happy to help those people.   I don’t know why they may be stuck.   They may not even know it.   In the same sense, it may not even be their doing.   For me, I just enjoy knowing that I was able to help make their day a bit better.   

On the opposite side of that, there are people that may be spinning their wheels, but aren’t necessarily stuck.   Sometimes, there just needs to be a little bit of a push to help get un-stuck.   Today, I overheard two separate people today mention that they had either moved into or got news that they were getting housing.   In working with the homeless this is the best news to hear.   These are people that aren’t stuck.   It’s such a huge step in the right direction for people.   It’s not the end of the battle, but it’s the biggest step towards getting to what most of us consider a “normal” life.   I’m excited for these people.   I wouldn’t mind talking with them again.    I’m also glad that I won’t have to.   

Lesson two: Pay attention. Good stories are out there if you’re listening.

Hearing those two stories today puts a quote into my head….backwards.

One small step for mankind.   One giant leap for a man.   (or two)

How important is it?

Today’s lesson for me took some dissection of the whole day and a lot of time spent with me asking “why did this happen?”   When leaving Grace Park after another very successful Snow Angels mission, I had to look at a situation that happened a number of times to see what was the driving force behind things.   

So many of the people that I come in contact when on these missions are amazingly gracious.    As I talk with other volunteers, I always hear stories of people coming up to stations and saying “ok, thank you.   I already have enough of those.”     It’s always seemed strange to me.   I think that this is partially because I’m not sure how I would react in the same situation.   What would I do?

When working the request truck, the difference typically goes the opposite direction than with the other stations.   There have been a few instances where we were not able to get all of the requested items for an individual.   Sometimes we can’t find a requested item as it may be an odd size.   Towards the end of the season, many of the stores are out of the larger sizes of coats.      

For the mission 2 weeks ago, we were supposed to have boots for a gentleman by the name of Kevin.   To me, it was strange that we didn’t have them.   I remember talking to Kevin about the boots.   I knew his name even.   Yet, his boots weren’t in the truck.   In fact, his name didn’t even appear on the list.   Did I accidentally delete him?   Did I forget to enter it?   Either way, none of that mattered at the time.   Kevin didn’t get the boots he very much needed and was quite upset about it.

As we talked, Kevin mentioned how he doesn’t stay close to downtown and getting to Grace Park isn’t easy for him.  He talked about how he has to stand and walk a lot and how he needs something so his feet don’t hurt constantly.   He was upset.   His frustration was very apparent.   As I listened to him say all of this, I tried to take it all in and just listen.  I wanted to make sure that he knew I was actually listening to what he was saying and not just brushing him off.   I wanted to make sure that he felt that I was going to do something to make sure that this didn’t happen again to him.   

In listening to him, I started to realize how many different things could contribute to why he was so frustrated.   For many, including myself, there seems to be a feeling of “you’re lucky to have us here at all”.   We all start to think, “Why are you mad at us? We’re out here helping you.   Why are you so ungrateful?”    Then I realize, it’s not the items that we did or didn’t bring, it’s how we made the people feel that was the difference.  

When Kevin mentioned it was difficult for him to get to Grace Park, it took me a minute to figure out why.   He stays in the Fairlawn area.   For most of us, a 12-15 minute drive in a car.   We hop in at our convenience and just go.   For him, it’s an estimated 29 minute bus ride...if he can afford a bus pass.   So he either walked for close to 2 hours, or spent valuable bus tokens on getting here for nothing.   Then had to do the same to get back.   For most of us, a 30 minute round trip for nothing would make us feel like we wasted our time.   For him, it could have been 4+ hours of walking…in leaky boots.   It was probably wasted resources that are extremely scarce to begin with.   

I started to realize the emotional component that could be behind all of this also.   These new boots could have been the highlight of the week, month, or maybe even the year.   For all I know, I’ve done the equivalent of climbing down some kids chimney at Christmas, ate the cookies, and left a note saying “better luck next year kid”.    In a world that doesn’t always have many outside influences that bring brightness, I may have been that bright spot.  As I left, all I could think of was that he was looking forward to these, and I let him down.

On the previous mission when I talked to Kevin, I felt awful.  I made no excuses.   I could honestly say I didn’t know why we didn’t have the boots.   I left the mission angry with myself.   

Through the week, I checked and re-checked the sheet to make sure that Kevin’s items were on the list.   I made sure that they got ordered.   When I arrived for the mission on Sunday, I dove into the box of requests just to make sure that they were there.   I did not want to feel that way twice.   

We arrived at Grace Park on Sunday and within a few minutes, I saw Kevin.   He had a look on his face that just seemed to scream “skeptical”.   It felt so good to assure him that the boots were in the truck and ready for him.   

We actually had two pairs of boots for Kevin.   One was a set of waterproof work boots, and the other was a rubber boot.   My mind was totally blown when Kevin came up to me after receiving the boots and said “Thanks for getting these!   These work boots are super nice! I love them!   They’ll work great!  The rubber ones, I probably can’t use though.   Can you get them to someone that might be able to?”    

I was a bit stunned.    Here, we totally failed for this man 2 weeks earlier, and now all he wants to do is make sure that someone else gets the boots that he may not get as much use out of.   He could have easily kept the other boots and maybe even sold them for a few dollars.   Instead, he just wanted to make sure that they went to someone that needed them more than him.   Once again....think long and hard about how you would react in that situation.

The things I learned this week were hard on me because in a way, they came at someone else’s expense.   

1. What you consider a slight inconvenience, could be something extremely difficult for someone else.
2. Your word, no matter what the situation is binding.
3. There’s no better feeling than coming through for someone. The opposite is also true. There’s no worse feeling than failing someone.

I started my week with a sense of being highly aware of those around me.   Treat every interaction as it’s the most important one.   For those you’re interacting with, it just might be.   

Any place. Any time. Any situation

Today was the day where a year's worth of hard work for a few individuals turns smiles and granted wishes for a neighborhood as Elves & More of Northeast Ohio takes off to deliver 1,100 bikes.   In fact, today’s deliveries created 3 neighborhoods filled with smiles.   

I was honored when I was asked if I wanted to head up a bicycle delivery with my friend and longtime Elves and More supporter, Lenny Raushcer.   I started to wonder where we were going.   I knew that it would be the Akron area, but I didn’t know which area.   

Yesterday that question was answered when I was told “our group is going to Norton.”   I was completely shocked.   I didn’t really know what to say.   How could that be?   I live in Norton.   I don’t see the things normally associated with the neighborhoods where Elves and More goes.   I was filled with questions as to why we were going to Norton of all places.   It didn’t make sense to me.   

People always ask me, “Where will the delivery be this year?”.   I always tell them “I don’t know” as usually, I don’t.   I’ve been asked before, “Aren’t you curious?”.   My response is always the same.   “Nope” I say.   “I know that they do a lot of work in figuring out who can really benefit from the bikes.   They’re smart about this.   There’s no need for me to know.   I just know that we will be getting bikes to kids who need them.”   

As I went to bed that night questioning why we were going to Norton, I realized that I needed to tell myself the answer that I tell everyone else when they ask me where we are going.  “The guys in charge are amazing at finding the right people to get the bikes to.   They know what they’re doing.”   

Lesson one: If there’s a proven process, trust it.       

  

We all have a tendency to live inside of our own little worlds.   It seems that many people barely know their own neighbors, let alone someone that lives 4 or 5 houses away.   For me, it’s taken an effort, but I take great pride in being involved in my neighborhood.   When I walk the dog, I usually get stopped by a few different neighbors to catch up on things.   I help out my neighbors when they need it, and they are always willing to reciprocate without hesitation.   We all talk.   More than that, we communicate.   We check on each other.   We laugh with each other.   We genuinely care as we are not only neighbors, but friends.

The neighborhood we were in today felt like it didn’t have that sense of “community”.   There were no negative feelings, but people very much seemed to keep to themselves and not  interact with each other.   I feel as if I was part of breaking down some of those walls today.   Kids riding bikes brings people out of their houses.   It gets them talking.  It brings them closer.   Being a part of a community makes everyone stronger.   The whole becomes greater than the sum of its parts.   I feel that we have planted that seed today.   

Lesson two: Communities don’t “happen”.  They need a catalyst to get them started.   Be that catalyst

Earlier in this blog, I said “I don’t see thein things normally associated with the neighborhoods where Elves and More goes.”   This delivery was unlike any other that Elves and More had ever done as it was in a much more rural type of area.   There were no sidewalks.   There were no streetlights.   There were not businesses nearby.   There were spaces between the houses.   There were ditches to contend with.  The smiles and sense of gratitude were exactly the same as any other delivery we’ve made.   You could tell that in some cases, this was Elves and More supplying Christmas to some that may not have had it otherwise.        

Lesson three: People that need help can be found in any place, at any time, in any situation.   

  Today had three valuable lessons for me. Two I had to hunt for. One was obvious. I'm already excited for next year....

Tough Decisions

A tongue for treats.....and kisses!

Familiar things can be good and bad. I was more than happy to walk with Rudolph this evening. I am sad that he isn’t in a forever home…yet. I will state that as difficult as it is, I’m ok with it. The person that Rudy met last week as a possible adopter decided that maybe Rudolph wasn’t the best fit for their home. I’m glad that they reached that decision earlier rather than later and I hold no hard feelings on that. It’s a very difficult call to make, but they felt that they had reason to do so. It takes a strong will act on that. Although it wasn’t Rudolph, I’m pretty confident that the person will be adopting a rescue dog in the near future, and that in itself is a wonderful thing. I sincerely hope that Rudolph gets adopted soon, and I do think that it will happen. Patience is a virtue that Rudy has much more of than I. Maybe even some day he and Irving could hang out together. Who knows...

As Rudolph and I walked with one of the other volunteers and Queenie, I was told that “as soon as Rudolph heard your voice, he started jumping and got all sorts of excited.” It feels good to know that what I’m doing can get someone that excited. In some ways, I think that I’m one of the highlights of the week for him. In some ways, working with him is the highlight of mine also. What I give in treats, I receive back 10-fold in understanding, loyalty, life lessons, and kisses.

What did I learn from today? Rudolph has shown me that he is constantly learning. Constantly evolving. I need to follow his lead in that. As he and I have walked together, I see him get more and more excited for our walks as he starts to grasp how much there is to learn. As he gets better about sit, stay, up, and wait, I can see that he’s thinking, “Ok, got it. What’s the next trick that’s going to make you happy (and earn me a treat maybe)?” He’s soaking up knowledge like a sponge. He wants to explore. He wants to play. He wants to thrive. He really wants to be a companion. He wants to learn from someone. I find that awesome and admirable. This is one really smart dog and I’m amazed at how much he has taught me. Wow……...

Best of intentions

So at the suggestion of a few close friends, it’s time for me to start a blog.   I have always had the “gift of gab” and I have been told that I’m a wonderful storyteller.   After all, I’ve got some great stories!   Unfortunately, most of them were just entertaining stories with no real substance to them.   Recently, I’ve been doing some things that have made for some good stories with the added substance of having some great life lessons in them.   These are worth writing about.

There is a universal subject out there that everyone understands.   Gratitude.   We’ve all experienced it.   Someone has helped us with something in life that has meant a lot to us.   Ironically, it’s usually the smallest gestures that we are the most grateful for.   Isn’t it funny how that works?

So what does gratitude have to do with the title of this blog, “Learning by Helping”?   It may be different than you think.   Simply stated, I’ve found that what looks on the surface to be me helping someone, typically turns out to be me learning something incredible.   I have to look for it sometimes, but it’s there.   We all have different skills and tools.   We all have different experiences.   I’m glad I’m able to put myself out there to learn so much from others.  

This blog will be about my adventures in unintentionally learning wonderful lessons about life why intentionally trying to help someone else.   I hope that in passing these stories and lessons on will help to serve justice for the wonderful souls that showed me them.

Get involved. Get active.   Make a difference.    Never let “I want to help them all” prevent you from being all of the help to one.