How important is it?

Today’s lesson for me took some dissection of the whole day and a lot of time spent with me asking “why did this happen?”   When leaving Grace Park after another very successful Snow Angels mission, I had to look at a situation that happened a number of times to see what was the driving force behind things.   

So many of the people that I come in contact when on these missions are amazingly gracious.    As I talk with other volunteers, I always hear stories of people coming up to stations and saying “ok, thank you.   I already have enough of those.”     It’s always seemed strange to me.   I think that this is partially because I’m not sure how I would react in the same situation.   What would I do?

When working the request truck, the difference typically goes the opposite direction than with the other stations.   There have been a few instances where we were not able to get all of the requested items for an individual.   Sometimes we can’t find a requested item as it may be an odd size.   Towards the end of the season, many of the stores are out of the larger sizes of coats.      

For the mission 2 weeks ago, we were supposed to have boots for a gentleman by the name of Kevin.   To me, it was strange that we didn’t have them.   I remember talking to Kevin about the boots.   I knew his name even.   Yet, his boots weren’t in the truck.   In fact, his name didn’t even appear on the list.   Did I accidentally delete him?   Did I forget to enter it?   Either way, none of that mattered at the time.   Kevin didn’t get the boots he very much needed and was quite upset about it.

As we talked, Kevin mentioned how he doesn’t stay close to downtown and getting to Grace Park isn’t easy for him.  He talked about how he has to stand and walk a lot and how he needs something so his feet don’t hurt constantly.   He was upset.   His frustration was very apparent.   As I listened to him say all of this, I tried to take it all in and just listen.  I wanted to make sure that he knew I was actually listening to what he was saying and not just brushing him off.   I wanted to make sure that he felt that I was going to do something to make sure that this didn’t happen again to him.   

In listening to him, I started to realize how many different things could contribute to why he was so frustrated.   For many, including myself, there seems to be a feeling of “you’re lucky to have us here at all”.   We all start to think, “Why are you mad at us? We’re out here helping you.   Why are you so ungrateful?”    Then I realize, it’s not the items that we did or didn’t bring, it’s how we made the people feel that was the difference.  

When Kevin mentioned it was difficult for him to get to Grace Park, it took me a minute to figure out why.   He stays in the Fairlawn area.   For most of us, a 12-15 minute drive in a car.   We hop in at our convenience and just go.   For him, it’s an estimated 29 minute bus ride...if he can afford a bus pass.   So he either walked for close to 2 hours, or spent valuable bus tokens on getting here for nothing.   Then had to do the same to get back.   For most of us, a 30 minute round trip for nothing would make us feel like we wasted our time.   For him, it could have been 4+ hours of walking…in leaky boots.   It was probably wasted resources that are extremely scarce to begin with.   

I started to realize the emotional component that could be behind all of this also.   These new boots could have been the highlight of the week, month, or maybe even the year.   For all I know, I’ve done the equivalent of climbing down some kids chimney at Christmas, ate the cookies, and left a note saying “better luck next year kid”.    In a world that doesn’t always have many outside influences that bring brightness, I may have been that bright spot.  As I left, all I could think of was that he was looking forward to these, and I let him down.

On the previous mission when I talked to Kevin, I felt awful.  I made no excuses.   I could honestly say I didn’t know why we didn’t have the boots.   I left the mission angry with myself.   

Through the week, I checked and re-checked the sheet to make sure that Kevin’s items were on the list.   I made sure that they got ordered.   When I arrived for the mission on Sunday, I dove into the box of requests just to make sure that they were there.   I did not want to feel that way twice.   

We arrived at Grace Park on Sunday and within a few minutes, I saw Kevin.   He had a look on his face that just seemed to scream “skeptical”.   It felt so good to assure him that the boots were in the truck and ready for him.   

We actually had two pairs of boots for Kevin.   One was a set of waterproof work boots, and the other was a rubber boot.   My mind was totally blown when Kevin came up to me after receiving the boots and said “Thanks for getting these!   These work boots are super nice! I love them!   They’ll work great!  The rubber ones, I probably can’t use though.   Can you get them to someone that might be able to?”    

I was a bit stunned.    Here, we totally failed for this man 2 weeks earlier, and now all he wants to do is make sure that someone else gets the boots that he may not get as much use out of.   He could have easily kept the other boots and maybe even sold them for a few dollars.   Instead, he just wanted to make sure that they went to someone that needed them more than him.   Once again....think long and hard about how you would react in that situation.

The things I learned this week were hard on me because in a way, they came at someone else’s expense.   

1. What you consider a slight inconvenience, could be something extremely difficult for someone else.
2. Your word, no matter what the situation is binding.
3. There’s no better feeling than coming through for someone. The opposite is also true. There’s no worse feeling than failing someone.

I started my week with a sense of being highly aware of those around me.   Treat every interaction as it’s the most important one.   For those you’re interacting with, it just might be.   

Your future and a tent

My weekend of Akron Snow Angels activities started early this time.   A number of weeks ago, a friend of mine mentioned what her amazing daughter has started as a tradition for her birthday.    She picks a charity, and asks everyone to bring donations for that charity.   For her 12th birthday party, she picked the Akron Snow Angels.   When I first heard this, I was excited.   As time passed, I honestly forgot the date so when I received a message last night with a picture of tables that were piled full of toothpaste, socks, soap, and coats, I was speechless.   I’m not sure that it’s still fully registered with me.   Most kids are upset when they don’t get the latest and greatest video game that they asked for...and this one wants nothing more than to know that she’s helping others.   

A fixture with the Akron Snow Angels is Ty.   Ty is just one of those kids with a smile and personality that makes him tough not to like.   Ty can often be found doing things like any other 12 year old on a Sunday morning.   He’ll be out tossing a football or joking around with his friends.   The difference is that a lot of those friends are homeless.   Ty has been involved with the Akron Snow Angels for a while now and I’m not sure that I can put into words how well he interacts with everyone at the missions.   There’s no awkwardness that you’d normally see from someone of his age.   There’s just this burning desire to help people.   His most amazing talent with the people is getting them to smile.   He just gets people to light up.   It’s a joy to watch.      

These two amazing kids are the products of proud parents that have taken an active role in deciding the future.   Not just the future of their kids, but the future for all of us.   Their active role with their kids has created compassion and hope for the future.   The generous attitude and mindset of compassion that has been instilled in these kids has taught me something.   

Lesson one: The future is what you make it.   No one else.   You.

If you’ve followed the blog, you may remember a man I wrote about last time that had just gotten a job and was in need of a set of Carhartt overalls.   The following Tuesday, someone had written into the Akron Snow Angels and asked if they could purchase the needed coveralls.    Since being involved with the Akron Snow Angels, I have seen a lot of great things happen.   This honestly ranks near the top for me.   

When we arrived at the mission, I was grateful to be able to snag a few minutes where I could actually talk to the recipient of the warmest coveralls you’ll find.   His energy was contagious.   “It's going great.   They’ve been able to give me some extra hours, so I’ll take that every chance I can get.   I get paid next Friday!   We’d love to be able to find a place as I really want to get us into a place and out of the tent.   If you know of anyplace, let me know.”   Hearing all of this and his hopeful outlook is a wonderful ray of light in a often dim place.

 

As I talked with him, I mentioned the blog and how the relationship that he and his wife shows through and has made quite the impression on me.   He instantly thanked me for getting the coveralls to him and wanted me to pass on his gratitude for the good Samaritan that purchased them for him.   He then said something so simple, but extremely profound.   “When you have nothing else, each other is all that matters.”    

Those words stuck with me the rest of the day.   I realized that what he said has a lot of truth.   In the same sense, I think that he could have made it simpler.

Lesson 2: Each other is all that matters.    

There were so many other interactions today that I had that all seemed to point me in this same direction.   Please, take a few minutes to look around to see what really matters.   When it gets cold later this week, ask yourself this…   Who do you want in your tent?

Positively Chilling

It’s 9:00 on a Sunday morning as I pull my dad’s truck out of the garage and start down the road for another mission with the Akron Snow Angels.   Less than a mile down the road I look over at the readout in the truck that tells me it’s 8 degrees outside.   I’m in the truck, all bundled up in 4 layers of clothes including Carhartt overalls, and I’m cold.   It’s at this point when it dawns on me, “I don’t see how some of my friends live in this.”

I was the first to arrive at the facility where we meet and store all of the items that we have.   It’s not heated, but it does keep everything that we have dry.    As soon as I pushed the door open I felt a rush of disappointing, but not unexpected cold air.   Once again, the question of “how can they live in this?” circled around in my head.   

We had a few more volunteers than normal today which was nice.   We got everything loaded up and headed for Grace Park as per our usual routine.   With it being so cold out, the crowd that greeted us had fewer people.   To me, that’s a good thing.   It means that some of the shelters have opened their doors to a few more people in order to make sure that they can stay warm.   

We parked and I got to do my favorite job again.   I took requests today.   I still love doing this.   I love how it gives me a chance to hear from, learn about, and interact with so many people.   Some of them are more memorable than others, but today had one interaction that gave me a bit of a spark, and it’s what led me to figure out what the lesson was for today.

On the early December mission, I met a man and his wife.   He is a taller man with a booming voice, a firm handshake and a friendly demeanor.   She is quieter and prefers to be in the background, but is very pleasant.    They live in a tent, so their situation is obviously not ideal, but my perception of their situation tells me that it’s an amazing relationship.   

He is a man of pride.   He sees their situation, and wants to work to get both of them out of it.   He is working to move things forward.   He wants to provide for them.  He wants to protect her.   On the flip side of the equation, through thick and painfully very thin times, she supports him.   She has confidence in him.   They are in a tough spot and yet they are in it 100% together.   They help each other.   It’s very easy to bail when times get tough and say “I’ll do this on my own.”   With these two, they want to do it together.   They do what so many people don’t in making sure that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.    What’s amazing is that they are doing this in conditions that most people would give up in.   It’s a powerful thing to see.   

This mission, he came up to me and asked if he could get a set of Carhartt coveralls.   It was with great pride that he told me “I got a job!”   He told me where and what he’d be doing.   “I’ll be outside 9 hours a day and it’s not going to start getting warmer for a while yet.   I hope that on the first of the month, we can finally get a place.”   Hearing those words made my week.   

It was after this conversation with him that I noticed something about everyone that I had talked to that day.   When my house drops below 68 degrees, I think it’s cold, and although I don’t complain to the dog and cats, I probably would if they would listen.   These people are living in conditions where the temperature is 8….and they aren’t complaining.   People made a few small jokes about the cold, but no actual complaints.   No griping.   No “I hate this”.   

I’ve always somewhat avoided the “how’s it going?” question when on missions as I’ve always been afraid of making someone feel bad.   After some thoughts though, I wanted to see if my lesson was turning out to be what I thought it was.   I asked my friend Jared how he was doing.   “Good!” was his only reply.   I asked Jesse how he has been as I haven’t seen him for a while.  “Not too bad”.    I asked some of the people that came up to me for requests.  “Doing ok.”   “Great!”   “I’m alive and well.”   Not one had a negative answer.   

As I started to process all of these answers and why they have them, I realized that negativity is a sign of giving up.   If you give up in this situation, in these conditions, you’re dead.   In these sometimes dire situations, hope and a positive attitude may be the only things that you have.   

Today’s lesson: Even in a difficult situation, your outlook can mean the difference between survival or failure.   

Support for a different perspective

Christmas day I spent time with some friends at Grace Park.   Since my first involvement with the Akron Snow Angels, the group has expanded my circle of friends farther than I had ever imagined.   I really look forward to meeting up with my friends...to go visit my other friends.   For a sheltered kid from the country, it’s been a wonderful experience and has opened up my thought process on almost everything that I do.   

My Christmas has always involved a morning trip to my folks house to open a few gifts a first.   After that, my mom cooks a meal that you typically eat until it hurts...and then you have a  few more bites just because it’s that good.   A few weeks ago, I told my mom that I wanted to do the Christmas mission with the Akron Snow Angels.   In the back of my mind, I was wondering how the holiday would work with me doing this though.   Being a small, but very close family, we have our routines.   We have our traditions.   Without a hesitation, everyone adapted to work around the plans that I had.   As soon as I heard how willing everyone was to work around my schedule for the day, the first lesson dawned on me.  

Lesson one: The people that truly care will find ways to support what you’re passionate about.

The trip to Grace Park was a bit different for me this time.   I didn’t really have anything that I needed to take care of.   Instead of taking requests, I got to walk around, mingle, and just generally chat with people.    At first, I didn’t really know what to do.   As soon as I saw my friends Mike and Jared, it all became pretty easy.   

“Hi Mike!  How are you?”.   

“Fighting a bit of a sinus issue, but I’m doing good.   How about yourself?” he responded

Mike lives in a tent in a wooded area in Akron.   Let that sink in for a second.   He lives in a tent.   In the woods.   In the city.   On Christmas.   ...and he says things are good.   This is why I think I like talking with Mike so much.   There’s never really a negative word.   He’s nice, genuine, and polite.   Mike is always just a pleasure to talk to.   

If you looking for someone that has a library's worth of facts stored in their head, Jared is the guy that you want to talk to.   He’s always full of energy and always working on some small practical joke to get a smile out of someone.   Needless to say, you’re hard pressed to find someone that’s not a fan of Jared.   

Lesson two: Perspective is everything and the situation is exactly what you make of it.

In this holiday season, I’m grateful to be in a position where I have people around me that support me and my passions.   I am also really glad that I have friends of all walks of life.   These friends make me laugh, and make me realize that those laughs are the most important thing.   

To all of you, my most sincere thanks for making this holiday season a special one.   

Any place. Any time. Any situation

Today was the day where a year's worth of hard work for a few individuals turns smiles and granted wishes for a neighborhood as Elves & More of Northeast Ohio takes off to deliver 1,100 bikes.   In fact, today’s deliveries created 3 neighborhoods filled with smiles.   

I was honored when I was asked if I wanted to head up a bicycle delivery with my friend and longtime Elves and More supporter, Lenny Raushcer.   I started to wonder where we were going.   I knew that it would be the Akron area, but I didn’t know which area.   

Yesterday that question was answered when I was told “our group is going to Norton.”   I was completely shocked.   I didn’t really know what to say.   How could that be?   I live in Norton.   I don’t see the things normally associated with the neighborhoods where Elves and More goes.   I was filled with questions as to why we were going to Norton of all places.   It didn’t make sense to me.   

People always ask me, “Where will the delivery be this year?”.   I always tell them “I don’t know” as usually, I don’t.   I’ve been asked before, “Aren’t you curious?”.   My response is always the same.   “Nope” I say.   “I know that they do a lot of work in figuring out who can really benefit from the bikes.   They’re smart about this.   There’s no need for me to know.   I just know that we will be getting bikes to kids who need them.”   

As I went to bed that night questioning why we were going to Norton, I realized that I needed to tell myself the answer that I tell everyone else when they ask me where we are going.  “The guys in charge are amazing at finding the right people to get the bikes to.   They know what they’re doing.”   

Lesson one: If there’s a proven process, trust it.       

  

We all have a tendency to live inside of our own little worlds.   It seems that many people barely know their own neighbors, let alone someone that lives 4 or 5 houses away.   For me, it’s taken an effort, but I take great pride in being involved in my neighborhood.   When I walk the dog, I usually get stopped by a few different neighbors to catch up on things.   I help out my neighbors when they need it, and they are always willing to reciprocate without hesitation.   We all talk.   More than that, we communicate.   We check on each other.   We laugh with each other.   We genuinely care as we are not only neighbors, but friends.

The neighborhood we were in today felt like it didn’t have that sense of “community”.   There were no negative feelings, but people very much seemed to keep to themselves and not  interact with each other.   I feel as if I was part of breaking down some of those walls today.   Kids riding bikes brings people out of their houses.   It gets them talking.  It brings them closer.   Being a part of a community makes everyone stronger.   The whole becomes greater than the sum of its parts.   I feel that we have planted that seed today.   

Lesson two: Communities don’t “happen”.  They need a catalyst to get them started.   Be that catalyst

Earlier in this blog, I said “I don’t see thein things normally associated with the neighborhoods where Elves and More goes.”   This delivery was unlike any other that Elves and More had ever done as it was in a much more rural type of area.   There were no sidewalks.   There were no streetlights.   There were not businesses nearby.   There were spaces between the houses.   There were ditches to contend with.  The smiles and sense of gratitude were exactly the same as any other delivery we’ve made.   You could tell that in some cases, this was Elves and More supplying Christmas to some that may not have had it otherwise.        

Lesson three: People that need help can be found in any place, at any time, in any situation.   

  Today had three valuable lessons for me. Two I had to hunt for. One was obvious. I'm already excited for next year....

Socks, Laughter, and Chance

Two missions with the Akron Snow Angels this year, and both had snow.   Coincidence?    I highly doubt it.   It’s a tough mix of emotions to deal with when you’re thinking, “I’m cold and hope that we get done soon so I can get inside where it’s warm” when you’re out helping people that have no inside to go to.   It is a dichotomy that I always seem to wrestle with.

After loading up, we headed to the North Hill High School parking lot for our first stop.   Many of the people that we worked with that this place may not have been homeless specifically, but when you see a child walking around without a jacket or even socks in the snow, you know that you’re helping people that desperately need it.    

It is my understanding that North Hill is now an area that is setup for refugees from other countries.   I don’t know their stories, but I am curious to learn more about them, what their country was like, and how they got here.   Often times, when we would try to speak with the people, there was difficulty in communicating.   The kids often spoke some English but the parents largely did not.   It’s emotionally difficult to have someone right in front of you that needs help, but language barriers make it difficult to find out what specific help they need.

I did find that two things that work in any language.   Socks and coffee.   On a cold day, if you hold a hot cup of coffee in your hand and extend it towards someone that’s shivering, the universal smile communicates that what you’ve done just made someone’s day that much better.   The same thing can be said for a pair of socks.   When you see a child in the snow with shoes but no socks, all it takes is an outstretched hand with a pair of clean, dry socks to change the outlook for everyone involved.   It’s these vehicles that we use as a group to open the lines of communication to help all of us learn more.

This is yet another culture, another dimension, another group of diversity within our local area that has an outlook on life that I have not dealt with much.    I am anxious to learn more.  I’m excited to make more friends.  

Lesson one……   Caring knows no language.   

As we loaded up and left North Hill, we went to our second stop of Grace Park to see those friends that we’ve had for a while now.   I love being the request guy as I really affords me the opportunity to get to know some of the people and talk with them.   My interactions are usually short, but I always make the effort to make them personal, personable, and fun.    Today, I met a man named David.   David is probably about 6’7”.   He was in a light jacket and tennis shoes.   Cold, but smiling.   He politely asked if he could request a heavy winter coat and some winter boots.   I looked at him and asked, “You a medium?   About an 8 boot?”   After we got done laughing about it, David let me know that he needs a 4XL winter jacket and a size 14 boot. He’s tremendously tall, and has the heart and laughter to match his stature.   

Lesson two…...laughter warms up everyone.

Later on in the mission, a gentleman named Derrick came up to me to request some boots and a coat.   My pen and my hands started to malfunction a bit from the cold and I ended up writing his first name in some unrecognizable hieroglyphs.  I scratched his first name out and put it on the line below.   He saw this and very politely asked me if I could put his last name on the same line so there was no confusion.   The first thing that went through my head was “why does it matter?   I’ll be the one going through the sheet later.   It’ll be fine.   No problem.”    Then it struck me.   It appealed to some of my own obsessive compulsive/leave nothing to chance tendencies.   If I was depending on these items for my survival, wouldn’t I want to make doubly sure that there was no confusion?   You can be sure that I would be triple checking with the person.   I would do everything in my power to make sure that things go well.   

Lesson Three.    Do not leave your success up to chance.   Take control of things.  Make sure that you have done everything you can to enable your success.   You control your own destiny.   Take control of it before someone else does.

People and Battles

Being the first mission, with some new volunteers, from a location that we moved into just a week ago, you would think that there would have been some hiccups in the process.    To be honest, things went amazingly smooth and that can be attributed to the beauty of volunteer group.   Everyone is there because they want to be there.   They want to reach that common goal.   As long as the general mission is known, the smaller jobs seem to quickly fall into place.   I find that every time I get involved in something like this, there is a lesson that can almost universally be applied.   People make the difference.   It can be one, or it can be hundreds.   It’s people that make the difference.

  

It’s the end of November, so it’s the beginning of the season to #spreadthewarmth and start working in the field with the Akron Snow Angels.   It seemed all too fitting that the night before the mission is the first snow of the season.   

To make sure that the warmth was spread, two people were panhandling within sight of the parking lot where we sat.   Erin, the founder of the Akron Snow Angels, took a small group over to deliver some meals and other items to those people.   To do the most good, you have to get out there and do things, and this is a wonderful example of that.   Imagine having to panhandle in the freezing cold and the snow while watching so many cars pass by.   Then, to have a small group approach you with some warm clothing and a hot meal.   That’s hope.    That’s motivation.   That’s fuel.   That’s so much more than the tangible items.   

From North Hill, we headed back to the usual spot between Grace Park and the Haven of Rest.   I was the “Request Guy” today as it’s a position I have come to really enjoy.   I get to talk to a lot of people and get the opportunity to give them a bit of personal warmth.   If someone was making a request, I always tried to ask for their name first.   I wanted to connect, and calling someone by their name who doesn’t often hear it is a good initial step.   These people matter, but don’t often feel like they do.   That is the change that I wanted to bring with me today, and I felt that in many cases I was successful.  

Nearing the end of the day, I had just 2 or 3 people left that wanted to make a request.   As I was talking with them, I noticed a gentleman pacing a bit behind the group.   He had an energy about him, more out of awkwardness than anything.   He appeared to be outwardly nervous, but not scared.   It intrigued me.   Finally, it got to be his turn to make a request and he introduced himself as Ronald.    Right at that moment, someone turned back and interrupted us with no regard for what was going on so they could add to their request list.   What impressed me during this what how Ronald handled the situation.  When interrupted, Ronald just stepped back and patiently waited…..paced….but waited.   He had no angst.  No anger.  No grudge.   He knew that I’d still take his request.   Ronald is in a world where you have to compete to survive, but he knew at that point that he didn’t need to compete.   He knew that his needs would get met.   I took note of this and it made more sense as to why later.   

Lesson #1 is obvious.   It’s just been reaffirmed today.   “People make the difference.”

Lesson #2 was taught to me by Ronald.    “Pick your battles, for you may not know what consequences an battle not worth fighting may bring”

The second lesson is one that I have had a tough time with in my life.   People that know me know that I have a tendency to go “full throttle” at everything.   Today was a much needed reminder for me.   Thank you Ronald.