How important is it?

Today’s lesson for me took some dissection of the whole day and a lot of time spent with me asking “why did this happen?”   When leaving Grace Park after another very successful Snow Angels mission, I had to look at a situation that happened a number of times to see what was the driving force behind things.   

So many of the people that I come in contact when on these missions are amazingly gracious.    As I talk with other volunteers, I always hear stories of people coming up to stations and saying “ok, thank you.   I already have enough of those.”     It’s always seemed strange to me.   I think that this is partially because I’m not sure how I would react in the same situation.   What would I do?

When working the request truck, the difference typically goes the opposite direction than with the other stations.   There have been a few instances where we were not able to get all of the requested items for an individual.   Sometimes we can’t find a requested item as it may be an odd size.   Towards the end of the season, many of the stores are out of the larger sizes of coats.      

For the mission 2 weeks ago, we were supposed to have boots for a gentleman by the name of Kevin.   To me, it was strange that we didn’t have them.   I remember talking to Kevin about the boots.   I knew his name even.   Yet, his boots weren’t in the truck.   In fact, his name didn’t even appear on the list.   Did I accidentally delete him?   Did I forget to enter it?   Either way, none of that mattered at the time.   Kevin didn’t get the boots he very much needed and was quite upset about it.

As we talked, Kevin mentioned how he doesn’t stay close to downtown and getting to Grace Park isn’t easy for him.  He talked about how he has to stand and walk a lot and how he needs something so his feet don’t hurt constantly.   He was upset.   His frustration was very apparent.   As I listened to him say all of this, I tried to take it all in and just listen.  I wanted to make sure that he knew I was actually listening to what he was saying and not just brushing him off.   I wanted to make sure that he felt that I was going to do something to make sure that this didn’t happen again to him.   

In listening to him, I started to realize how many different things could contribute to why he was so frustrated.   For many, including myself, there seems to be a feeling of “you’re lucky to have us here at all”.   We all start to think, “Why are you mad at us? We’re out here helping you.   Why are you so ungrateful?”    Then I realize, it’s not the items that we did or didn’t bring, it’s how we made the people feel that was the difference.  

When Kevin mentioned it was difficult for him to get to Grace Park, it took me a minute to figure out why.   He stays in the Fairlawn area.   For most of us, a 12-15 minute drive in a car.   We hop in at our convenience and just go.   For him, it’s an estimated 29 minute bus ride...if he can afford a bus pass.   So he either walked for close to 2 hours, or spent valuable bus tokens on getting here for nothing.   Then had to do the same to get back.   For most of us, a 30 minute round trip for nothing would make us feel like we wasted our time.   For him, it could have been 4+ hours of walking…in leaky boots.   It was probably wasted resources that are extremely scarce to begin with.   

I started to realize the emotional component that could be behind all of this also.   These new boots could have been the highlight of the week, month, or maybe even the year.   For all I know, I’ve done the equivalent of climbing down some kids chimney at Christmas, ate the cookies, and left a note saying “better luck next year kid”.    In a world that doesn’t always have many outside influences that bring brightness, I may have been that bright spot.  As I left, all I could think of was that he was looking forward to these, and I let him down.

On the previous mission when I talked to Kevin, I felt awful.  I made no excuses.   I could honestly say I didn’t know why we didn’t have the boots.   I left the mission angry with myself.   

Through the week, I checked and re-checked the sheet to make sure that Kevin’s items were on the list.   I made sure that they got ordered.   When I arrived for the mission on Sunday, I dove into the box of requests just to make sure that they were there.   I did not want to feel that way twice.   

We arrived at Grace Park on Sunday and within a few minutes, I saw Kevin.   He had a look on his face that just seemed to scream “skeptical”.   It felt so good to assure him that the boots were in the truck and ready for him.   

We actually had two pairs of boots for Kevin.   One was a set of waterproof work boots, and the other was a rubber boot.   My mind was totally blown when Kevin came up to me after receiving the boots and said “Thanks for getting these!   These work boots are super nice! I love them!   They’ll work great!  The rubber ones, I probably can’t use though.   Can you get them to someone that might be able to?”    

I was a bit stunned.    Here, we totally failed for this man 2 weeks earlier, and now all he wants to do is make sure that someone else gets the boots that he may not get as much use out of.   He could have easily kept the other boots and maybe even sold them for a few dollars.   Instead, he just wanted to make sure that they went to someone that needed them more than him.   Once again....think long and hard about how you would react in that situation.

The things I learned this week were hard on me because in a way, they came at someone else’s expense.   

1. What you consider a slight inconvenience, could be something extremely difficult for someone else.
2. Your word, no matter what the situation is binding.
3. There’s no better feeling than coming through for someone. The opposite is also true. There’s no worse feeling than failing someone.

I started my week with a sense of being highly aware of those around me.   Treat every interaction as it’s the most important one.   For those you’re interacting with, it just might be.   

Support for a different perspective

Christmas day I spent time with some friends at Grace Park.   Since my first involvement with the Akron Snow Angels, the group has expanded my circle of friends farther than I had ever imagined.   I really look forward to meeting up with my friends...to go visit my other friends.   For a sheltered kid from the country, it’s been a wonderful experience and has opened up my thought process on almost everything that I do.   

My Christmas has always involved a morning trip to my folks house to open a few gifts a first.   After that, my mom cooks a meal that you typically eat until it hurts...and then you have a  few more bites just because it’s that good.   A few weeks ago, I told my mom that I wanted to do the Christmas mission with the Akron Snow Angels.   In the back of my mind, I was wondering how the holiday would work with me doing this though.   Being a small, but very close family, we have our routines.   We have our traditions.   Without a hesitation, everyone adapted to work around the plans that I had.   As soon as I heard how willing everyone was to work around my schedule for the day, the first lesson dawned on me.  

Lesson one: The people that truly care will find ways to support what you’re passionate about.

The trip to Grace Park was a bit different for me this time.   I didn’t really have anything that I needed to take care of.   Instead of taking requests, I got to walk around, mingle, and just generally chat with people.    At first, I didn’t really know what to do.   As soon as I saw my friends Mike and Jared, it all became pretty easy.   

“Hi Mike!  How are you?”.   

“Fighting a bit of a sinus issue, but I’m doing good.   How about yourself?” he responded

Mike lives in a tent in a wooded area in Akron.   Let that sink in for a second.   He lives in a tent.   In the woods.   In the city.   On Christmas.   ...and he says things are good.   This is why I think I like talking with Mike so much.   There’s never really a negative word.   He’s nice, genuine, and polite.   Mike is always just a pleasure to talk to.   

If you looking for someone that has a library's worth of facts stored in their head, Jared is the guy that you want to talk to.   He’s always full of energy and always working on some small practical joke to get a smile out of someone.   Needless to say, you’re hard pressed to find someone that’s not a fan of Jared.   

Lesson two: Perspective is everything and the situation is exactly what you make of it.

In this holiday season, I’m grateful to be in a position where I have people around me that support me and my passions.   I am also really glad that I have friends of all walks of life.   These friends make me laugh, and make me realize that those laughs are the most important thing.   

To all of you, my most sincere thanks for making this holiday season a special one.   

Socks, Laughter, and Chance

Two missions with the Akron Snow Angels this year, and both had snow.   Coincidence?    I highly doubt it.   It’s a tough mix of emotions to deal with when you’re thinking, “I’m cold and hope that we get done soon so I can get inside where it’s warm” when you’re out helping people that have no inside to go to.   It is a dichotomy that I always seem to wrestle with.

After loading up, we headed to the North Hill High School parking lot for our first stop.   Many of the people that we worked with that this place may not have been homeless specifically, but when you see a child walking around without a jacket or even socks in the snow, you know that you’re helping people that desperately need it.    

It is my understanding that North Hill is now an area that is setup for refugees from other countries.   I don’t know their stories, but I am curious to learn more about them, what their country was like, and how they got here.   Often times, when we would try to speak with the people, there was difficulty in communicating.   The kids often spoke some English but the parents largely did not.   It’s emotionally difficult to have someone right in front of you that needs help, but language barriers make it difficult to find out what specific help they need.

I did find that two things that work in any language.   Socks and coffee.   On a cold day, if you hold a hot cup of coffee in your hand and extend it towards someone that’s shivering, the universal smile communicates that what you’ve done just made someone’s day that much better.   The same thing can be said for a pair of socks.   When you see a child in the snow with shoes but no socks, all it takes is an outstretched hand with a pair of clean, dry socks to change the outlook for everyone involved.   It’s these vehicles that we use as a group to open the lines of communication to help all of us learn more.

This is yet another culture, another dimension, another group of diversity within our local area that has an outlook on life that I have not dealt with much.    I am anxious to learn more.  I’m excited to make more friends.  

Lesson one……   Caring knows no language.   

As we loaded up and left North Hill, we went to our second stop of Grace Park to see those friends that we’ve had for a while now.   I love being the request guy as I really affords me the opportunity to get to know some of the people and talk with them.   My interactions are usually short, but I always make the effort to make them personal, personable, and fun.    Today, I met a man named David.   David is probably about 6’7”.   He was in a light jacket and tennis shoes.   Cold, but smiling.   He politely asked if he could request a heavy winter coat and some winter boots.   I looked at him and asked, “You a medium?   About an 8 boot?”   After we got done laughing about it, David let me know that he needs a 4XL winter jacket and a size 14 boot. He’s tremendously tall, and has the heart and laughter to match his stature.   

Lesson two…...laughter warms up everyone.

Later on in the mission, a gentleman named Derrick came up to me to request some boots and a coat.   My pen and my hands started to malfunction a bit from the cold and I ended up writing his first name in some unrecognizable hieroglyphs.  I scratched his first name out and put it on the line below.   He saw this and very politely asked me if I could put his last name on the same line so there was no confusion.   The first thing that went through my head was “why does it matter?   I’ll be the one going through the sheet later.   It’ll be fine.   No problem.”    Then it struck me.   It appealed to some of my own obsessive compulsive/leave nothing to chance tendencies.   If I was depending on these items for my survival, wouldn’t I want to make doubly sure that there was no confusion?   You can be sure that I would be triple checking with the person.   I would do everything in my power to make sure that things go well.   

Lesson Three.    Do not leave your success up to chance.   Take control of things.  Make sure that you have done everything you can to enable your success.   You control your own destiny.   Take control of it before someone else does.

Questions and answers

Whenever I go out with the Akron Snow Angels, there are a ton of positive things that come out of every mission.  You can’t help but feel good when you hand someone a few needed items.   You get varied reactions, but a high level of gratitude.   I’ve discovered that the gratitude isn’t necessarily because you gave them something tangible.   In many cases, it’s because you’ve given them one less thing to worry about.   In other cases, you’ve given someone the slightest bit of comfort in a very uncomfortable world.   It’s a powerful and wonderful feeling.   I suggest that you try it.   

A cart full of caring

Unfortunately, Saturday’s lesson came via a few pieces of news from within the community that were a bit disturbing.   As I write this, I’m not sure what percentage of angry, upset, and sad I’m feeling, but all of those emotions are currently stirring around at a rapid pace   

As we left for the day's mission, it was mentioned that there had been a fire and a few tents were lost to it.   This is tough to hear, but at that point, there is a certain amount of anonymity that allows a person to feel distant enough to stomach the news fairly easily.   As the day went on, there became two more bits of information that were discovered later that are much more difficult to digest.   

The first piece of news that we heard was that there is speculation that the tents being burned was an act of arson.   Other than someone intentionally setting the fire, there wasn’t another known source of ignition nearby.   Hearing that it was intentionally set, this is where my brain starts acting like a curious 4 year old’s and asking the “why” question over and over again.   Why would someone do this?   Why?   Just why?   Why could this have possibly seemed like a good idea to someone?   Personally, it’s the questions that I can’t find the answer to that I find are the most difficult to deal with.   “Why” happens to be one of them in this case.

News always carries more weight when it hits close.   Later in the day, we found out that the two people that lost their tents in the fire are well liked in the Akron Snow Angels group.   Friendly, chatty, and even a bit witty.   Each has a distinct personality of their own.   They are tough, but approachable.   Unique, but unassuming.   If you start a conversation with them, you’re going to end up with a good laugh.  If you get something for them, they both show their extreme gratitude in their own, unique way.   One with a handshake that could crush a rock and the most sincere thank you that you’ll find anywhere.   The other says “thanks” with a shy smile and a slight turn of his head.   You can tell he’s truly grateful, but he isn’t always quite sure how to handle it.   How is it that these two guys lost everything?   

It’s always tough to figure out what really happened.   I’m not a professional detective and much of what I have heard about the events leading up to this is speculation.   “Why” isn’t the right question for me to be asking.   It is tough to steer away from that as wanting to answer the big “why” question is a huge part of what makes us human.   It’s how we figure things out.   It is what we use to discover things.   It was later on when I realized that the more productive question that I need to be asking starts with “how”.    How can I help?

You can only get the best answer if you’re asking the right questions.  

Simple things

A blur.   That’s the only way that I can describe the mission today for Akron Snow Angels.   I was part of the request vehicle again.   That meant that the day started out with seeing how much compassion could be crammed into a 2 door Blazer.   Apparently, it can hold a lot more than most would think partially, because it comes in different forms for different people.   One pair of size 11 work boots can hold a right foot, a left foot, and the brightest hope for the job that can lead to a better situation.   A large pair of long johns and a knit shirt can hold 10 degrees of happiness on a chilly day.   A Batman toothbrush and toothpaste can make a child have a size 82 smile.   The Blazer could carry the tangible items.   A fleet of ships couldn’t come close to carrying the feelings.  

The first stop was just down the road to a smaller group .   Even with it only being my second visit to that site, I feel a personal connection with some of the folks there.   The feel is very much “some friends are stopping by to chat for a bit.”   We just happen to be the friends that drop off some much needed supplies at the time also.   It really is a comical bunch of folks that we get to hang out with.   Eager to talk.   Eager to share stories.   In need of the laughs.   

As we arrived at our second stop, I spotted Johnathon right away.   I was excited.   I had two pairs of pants for him, a nice insulated shirt, and a pair of boots that will keep his feet warm and dry.   I caught up to him and we chatted for a few.   He is adapting.   He doing what he can to get through this.   It’s not an easy road, but he seems to be staying between the lines.   It was good to see.

I saw Lee today but unfortunately didn’t get the chance to say hello and shake his hand again.   I am kicking myself a bit for not doing so and I’m making it a point to do so next time.   Seeing him again brought about a bit of a contradiction of feelings.  I want to see familiar faces so I know that they are ok and so I can share the laughter with them.   I hope that I never see them again as I hope they have the shelter, heat, food, and clothing that they need.   Emotionally, it’s a wild ride.         

What did I learn today?   I learned two things:

1. Big problems are solved with simple steps in the right direction.   

I saw a child smile because toothbrushing now involves his imagination and a superhero.   I saw someone gain a world of hope.   I saw someone less worried about freezing.  I saw a lot of people laughing and sharing in conversation.   These simple things can be the things that help solve much larger problems.   

2. I guess I should have paid more attention in math.

It’s in my nature to want to put a measurement to things.   Maybe my high school math teacher would be disappointed, but I need help with this problem.

Solve for x

x = hope + 10 degrees + size 82 smile

My math says x = u

Warmth on a cold day.

Today was another mission with the Akron Snow angels www.akronsnowangels.com, and it was a cold one.   It was cold enough that a few of us jokingly celebrated when we broke into the double digit temperatures.   Yeah…..10 degrees.   That’s only about 65 degrees colder than comfortable for me.   A 15 mph wind didn’t help it to feel any warmer either.  On the good side of things, more shelters are open during weather like this meaning that we didn’t come in contact with as many people today.   It’s my understanding that not seeing people typically means that they are safe and warm.   That’s a good thing.

The two people that I talked to the most seemed to be sharing the same lesson with me.  The first one was Johnaton.   He was polite and courteous guy, but also seemed as if he was newer to the homeless community which is tough to see.   He had a fairly warm jacket and hat, but was in sweatpants and sneakers which are great for summertime workouts, but bad for keeping warm.   So, he and I walked around to the different stations looking for some much needed boots and jeans for him.   Unfortunately, we came up empty on those for him today. (We are working on something for next week hopefully).   As we stopped at the stations though, I noticed something astonishing.   I’d ask if he needed another hat, sweatshirt, or another similar item.   “Nope. I’m good on that.   I’d just really like some jeans and boots.”

The next guy had jeans and a jacket, but no hat, scarf, or decent cold weather shoes.   I asked him, “could you use a scarf”.    HIs response was simple, “I’ll be ok.   I don’t want to take one if it can help someone else.”.   Finally, after convincing him that seeing him without one was making me cold, we went down and picked out a scarf and hat for him.  As we were getting ready to leave, he stopped and looked at me and said, “I’m not sure I got your name.”   I introduced myself and without hesitation, he extended his hand, looked me square in the eyes, gave the the type of handshake that you’d expect from a high ranking official and said, “It’s nice to meet you Josh.   I’m Lee.”   Wow.   A stand up guy in my book.   

Johnathon and Lee really made me think long and hard about things today.   These guys only wanted what they really needed for survival.   That’s it.   Just things to make sure that they can live to fight another day.   It made me ask the question, what do I really need?   Although it is a simple question, it seems like it requires a very complex answer……..or does it?     

Both of these guys were very cold yet still had wonderfully warm hearts.   In a short time, they taught me a lot about being “human”.   I’m looking forward to seeing them next week and seeing what lessons they have in store for me.